OUT for OIT

Well, we did it.  We packed up (I use "we" loosely) 2500 square feet; sold a lot of furniture, filled two 10x10 storage units to the brim and stuffed this little trailer with mostly clothes and shoes to go to Utah with us.  We drove and drove and stopped and stopped and drove some more. FINALLY....

Nothing will ever look as beautiful as that Utah welcome sign until we see the Arizona welcome sign at the end of this journey, hopefully stuffing our faces full of Peanut M&M's (ok, I'm desperately searching for those Unreal brand candy coated peanuts, you got me).

Today was the start of the process: our first appointment with our OIT doctor.  I feel like I should have asked a million questions, but I did enough homework before we packed up our lives, I mostly just wanted to meet this man in person who promised to help my son. He said he would fix my son and take care of him. No one has been able to say anything besides, "Continue to avoid peanuts" since he was two years old and here is a person sitting in front of me telling me in 6 months time, we will have earned a lifetime of freedom!  

So, Thursday morning we will enter the allergist's office and feed my son peanut protein in liquid form every 15 minutes throughout the entire day. By the end of Day 1, we hope he will have consumed 5mg of peanut protein...or 2% of a peanut.  I will give him this dose at home twice a day for 6 days and on the 7th day, we return to the office to up dose. This will be our cycle for the next six months, barring any reactions or illness. At the end, he will eat 24 peanuts at once in order to "graduate." 

We now have a bag full of prescriptions on our counter that our son has never had before as backup in case of reaction. After all, let's not forget, we are feeding him his poison! I pray that this lack of sleep and peace for six months gives us a lifetime of freedom from food allergies. People have suggested this is me making a huge sacrifice for my child, but I can honestly tell you that he has sacrificed more (socially and physically) and selfishly, this has a lot to do with my peace, as well.  A lot of my day is consumed with what to feed him, where to feed him, and how to keep him safe when he isn't directly in front of me. My mental and physical health has taken a hit, too. I can't imagine what he must go through.

We are really in this now.

I mean, REALLY.

I am excited. I am sick to my stomach. Mostly, I am thankful. I'm thankful that back in April a fellow food allergy mom told me about her amazing doctor in Utah doing something I didn't even know existed outside of trials. I'm thankful that when I contacted the doctor's office, they bent over backward helping me check into insurance and even had the doctor call me direct. I'm thankful for an OIT Facebook group and a special mom who commented on one of my posts. Her why-put-off-til-tomorrow-what-you-can-do-today-attitude set the wheels in motion for this move.  I'm thankful for this group of OIT moms here in Utah who have welcomed me and offered encouragement and inspiration when I was lacking.  I'm thankful for all my friends and family who supported me and never doubted I was doing the right thing, even though it meant leaving them for awhile.  

I'm so thankful I have the opportunity that could give my son the ability to eat samples at Costco, grab food off a shelf in a grocery store without calling a 1-800 number, fly on a plane, go to a baseball game and just be a kid, all because a doctor in Utah decided he could do better than just tell people they needed to avoid their allergens. He went out there and sought the knowledge to make life better for food allergy kids and their parents. He gave up his weekends and nights to answer frantic phone calls from patients. I'm thankful his wife supports him, because I'm certain it's not easy on her to have her husband so important and available to his patients.  I'm thankful he exists.

How can I possibly have time to be inconvenienced by living in a tiny apartment without my husband when I have so very much to be thankful for?

OUT for OIT

Well, we did it.  We packed up (I use "we" loosely) 2500 square feet; sold a lot of furniture, filled two 10x10 storage units to the brim and stuffed this little trailer with mostly clothes and shoes to go to Utah with us.  We drove and drove and stopped and stopped and drove some more. FINALLY....

Nothing will ever look as beautiful as that Utah welcome sign until we see the Arizona welcome sign at the end of this journey, hopefully stuffing our faces full of Peanut M&M's (ok, I'm desperately searching for those Unreal brand candy coated peanuts, you got me).

Today was the start of the process: our first appointment with our OIT doctor.  I feel like I should have asked a million questions, but I did enough homework before we packed up our lives, I mostly just wanted to meet this man in person who promised to help my son. He said he would fix my son and take care of him. No one has been able to say anything besides, "Continue to avoid peanuts" since he was two years old and here is a person sitting in front of me telling me in 6 months time, we will have earned a lifetime of freedom!  

So, Thursday morning we will enter the allergist's office and feed my son peanut protein in liquid form every 15 minutes throughout the entire day. By the end of Day 1, we hope he will have consumed 5mg of peanut protein...or 2% of a peanut.  I will give him this dose at home twice a day for 6 days and on the 7th day, we return to the office to up dose. This will be our cycle for the next six months, barring any reactions or illness. At the end, he will eat 24 peanuts at once in order to "graduate." 

We now have a bag full of prescriptions on our counter that our son has never had before as backup in case of reaction. After all, let's not forget, we are feeding him his poison! I pray that this lack of sleep and peace for six months gives us a lifetime of freedom from food allergies. People have suggested this is me making a huge sacrifice for my child, but I can honestly tell you that he has sacrificed more (socially and physically) and selfishly, this has a lot to do with my peace, as well.  A lot of my day is consumed with what to feed him, where to feed him, and how to keep him safe when he isn't directly in front of me. My mental and physical health has taken a hit, too. I can't imagine what he must go through.

We are really in this now.

I mean, REALLY.

I am excited. I am sick to my stomach. Mostly, I am thankful. I'm thankful that back in April a fellow food allergy mom told me about her amazing doctor in Utah doing something I didn't even know existed outside of trials. I'm thankful that when I contacted the doctor's office, they bent over backward helping me check into insurance and even had the doctor call me direct. I'm thankful for an OIT Facebook group and a special mom who commented on one of my posts. Her why-put-off-til-tomorrow-what-you-can-do-today-attitude set the wheels in motion for this move.  I'm thankful for this group of OIT moms here in Utah who have welcomed me and offered encouragement and inspiration when I was lacking.  I'm thankful for all my friends and family who supported me and never doubted I was doing the right thing, even though it meant leaving them for awhile.  

I'm so thankful I have the opportunity that could give my son the ability to eat samples at Costco, grab food off a shelf in a grocery store without calling a 1-800 number, fly on a plane, go to a baseball game and just be a kid, all because a doctor in Utah decided he could do better than just tell people they needed to avoid their allergens. He went out there and sought the knowledge to make life better for food allergy kids and their parents. He gave up his weekends and nights to answer frantic phone calls from patients. I'm thankful his wife supports him, because I'm certain it's not easy on her to have her husband so important and available to his patients.  I'm thankful he exists.

How can I possibly have time to be inconvenienced by living in a tiny apartment without my husband when I have so very much to be thankful for?

Not My Timing

     I have put this post off, thinking way too hard about how others would perceive my story.  In the end, it's my story and my personal view and if you see it differently, that's ok. I respect you and I hope you respect me.

     By the evening of July 16th, I was messaging my new allergy mom friend in Utah asking when she was leaving to go back home, because I was certain we were not going sell the house and move up there before she flew back to Hawaii with her kids.  That night, I had a dream that my son and I were at his first consult with the OIT doctor and I was being reassured that he was, indeed, a candidate and this was all going to be fine.  I woke up squished between two kids, which oftentimes happens, and I felt at peace. If you have ever had the unfortunate experience of speaking to me before 9 am and/or my morning coffee, you know this is a rare and wonderful thing.  I looked at each of my kids feeling thankful and not irritated that they were pressed against me and my husband had probably been relegated off to the other side of the house to find a spare bed.  Softly speaking out loud, I repeated the words I had been hearing the last two Sunday sermons that I didn't want to say before this moment, "God, I give up my timing in favor of yours.  You know best."
     Two hours later I got a call from a Realtor. An hour later her client was in our home. Two hours after that, we had an offer to buy our house.  By the time we went to bed Friday night, we were under contract with a closing date and a solid plan.
     I feel it's important for you all to know that for the last 5 years, our attendance at church has been scant. In fact, for a good portion of that, I couldn't really even call myself a believer. I never went so far as to say atheist, as I always believed in a higher power, but my view of religion was skeptical at best. Things happen and life changes and you are called to one side or the other, as no one can stay in the middle forever.
     In February we visited a church that we are happy to call our home church now. I still have questions, but there is no doubt I believe in God and His purpose for us has been revealed to me over and over since making conscious efforts to give up my own agenda in favor of His will. For example, the following Monday, my husband and I had a long discussion about dedicating himself to one of our businesses and releasing some control of the other to someone else. He chose his focus and within hours he had THREE phone calls with opportunities for the business he decided to focus on.
     It's no secret that my husband and I live in the what if's and are always playing it safe. The problem is, for the last year we have known that we are not in the right place, but we didn't know where to go, so we stayed. This was as much of a mental state of mind as it was physical location. In fact, we were making plans for renovations using a home equity loan that was done - we were just about to sign - when at the 11th hour everything fell apart and I knew (and had to convince my husband) that this was the sign to make a break we needed.
     It is so easy to be comfortable and stagnant. Despite the future being scary and unknown, I feel confident I am doing exactly what I should be doing right now.  I am clear on our mission (freedom from this peanut allergy) and have the right guide for this journey (our doctor in Utah).
     I feel incredibly blessed to be twelve short days away from moving day. Although it's stressful, I'm ready to start this incredible journey with my family that will lift so many restrictions off my six year old's life. Thank you all for reading my blog and messaging and texting me...I appreciate the support!

Not My Timing

     I have put this post off, thinking way too hard about how others would perceive my story.  In the end, it's my story and my personal view and if you see it differently, that's ok. I respect you and I hope you respect me.

     By the evening of July 16th, I was messaging my new allergy mom friend in Utah asking when she was leaving to go back home, because I was certain we were not going sell the house and move up there before she flew back to Hawaii with her kids.  That night, I had a dream that my son and I were at his first consult with the OIT doctor and I was being reassured that he was, indeed, a candidate and this was all going to be fine.  I woke up squished between two kids, which oftentimes happens, and I felt at peace. If you have ever had the unfortunate experience of speaking to me before 9 am and/or my morning coffee, you know this is a rare and wonderful thing.  I looked at each of my kids feeling thankful and not irritated that they were pressed against me and my husband had probably been relegated off to the other side of the house to find a spare bed.  Softly speaking out loud, I repeated the words I had been hearing the last two Sunday sermons that I didn't want to say before this moment, "God, I give up my timing in favor of yours.  You know best."
     Two hours later I got a call from a Realtor. An hour later her client was in our home. Two hours after that, we had an offer to buy our house.  By the time we went to bed Friday night, we were under contract with a closing date and a solid plan.
     I feel it's important for you all to know that for the last 5 years, our attendance at church has been scant. In fact, for a good portion of that, I couldn't really even call myself a believer. I never went so far as to say atheist, as I always believed in a higher power, but my view of religion was skeptical at best. Things happen and life changes and you are called to one side or the other, as no one can stay in the middle forever.
     In February we visited a church that we are happy to call our home church now. I still have questions, but there is no doubt I believe in God and His purpose for us has been revealed to me over and over since making conscious efforts to give up my own agenda in favor of His will. For example, the following Monday, my husband and I had a long discussion about dedicating himself to one of our businesses and releasing some control of the other to someone else. He chose his focus and within hours he had THREE phone calls with opportunities for the business he decided to focus on.
     It's no secret that my husband and I live in the what if's and are always playing it safe. The problem is, for the last year we have known that we are not in the right place, but we didn't know where to go, so we stayed. This was as much of a mental state of mind as it was physical location. In fact, we were making plans for renovations using a home equity loan that was done - we were just about to sign - when at the 11th hour everything fell apart and I knew (and had to convince my husband) that this was the sign to make a break we needed.
     It is so easy to be comfortable and stagnant. Despite the future being scary and unknown, I feel confident I am doing exactly what I should be doing right now.  I am clear on our mission (freedom from this peanut allergy) and have the right guide for this journey (our doctor in Utah).
     I feel incredibly blessed to be twelve short days away from moving day. Although it's stressful, I'm ready to start this incredible journey with my family that will lift so many restrictions off my six year old's life. Thank you all for reading my blog and messaging and texting me...I appreciate the support!